Don't fight it
by typetwittertype
Summary: Magnus and Alec's point of view, thoughts when Alec is calling Magnus but he doesn't answer, because he is trying to quit Alec cold-Turkey. Song-fic, don't fight it by the panics. T just in case, for possible epolouge.


Don't fight it

I have no other way There is a price to pay For what the man will say That I was a million miles away In a promise full of steam It could take no vacant dream To persuade me to believe  
Magnus tried to focus on his work as the answering machine on his phone beeped for the fourth time that night. It was Alec again. It was getting harder and harder not to pick up the phone and answer that adorable voice. The voice that belonged to the one he loved the one voice he wanted to hear the rest of his life for as long as he could live. The voice that now sounded close to tears and was coated with worry, disbelief, and slight anger.  
I think just don't fight it, don't fight it, don't fight it If you don't know what it is, If you don't know what it is

"Magnus, please answer the phone. Please. I… I love you and I don't know what I did wrong but I want to make it right. Whatever I did… I'm sorry. Please. Please answer." It was so unbearably hard to ignore his plea- especially when he first said "I love you"; and like _this-_when he was trying _so hard_ not to answer the voice that belonged to Alec, his Alec. His Alec,-the one who would never admit to having a relationship with the High Warlock, the Alec whom he had given so much of himself and his heart that he now felt empty.  
I left my heart in places Forgot everyone of their faces And tried to navigate a broken path Of which I may have helped create In any incident, this is never no accident To stand alone and Let the silence make itself at home

He heard the phone click as Alec gave up. Magnus knew that it was his last night in Brooklyn, which was part of why he chose this time to cut Alec off- cold turkey. He gripped Chairman Meow, trying to make the pain go away. Unfortunately, he just hurt the miniature cat- who hissed in protest and jumped down from the not-so-sparkly warlock's arms. Magnus sighed and lay down on the couch, turned Project Runway on, and tried not to think about his love that could no longer be his love. He thought about using magic or even alcohol, to erase the memory of Alec.  
Ah, give it up, those dirty tricks No quick fix, can undo it Ah, give it up I won't resist my answers always this

Magnus sighed. There was no way he could un-do Alec from his life. He and impacted his life so much that the dishes were clean and his apartment was slightly less… chaotic. Magnus remembered the last time he saw Alec. He was with his other shadowhunter buddies. He remembered thinking "He's leaving. I can't stand another awkward moment when I'm shaking with nerves and anxiety- however well disguised; and yet I can't stand to see him go." He resisted the urge at the time to go over and kiss him goodbye, even though his friends were around, but he didn't because he knew that Alec didn't want to come out like that. Although everyone knew that we are –_were- _a couple.  
I said don't fight it, don't fight it, don't fight it  
If you don't know what it is, If you don't know what it is  
**Alec P.O.V**

Alec couldn't figure out what he had done to make Magnus so mad. He was confused, hurt, angry, tired, and full of what seemed like unrequited love.

Just don't fight it, don't fight it, don't fight it if you don't know what it is, If you don't know what it is

Hot, angry tears rolled down Alec's cheeks. He had left countless voicemails on the warlock's voicemail, so many that he felt so pathetic, so… used. Had Magnus gotten bored of him? On one hand, it had certainly _seemed_ like his cat eyed boyfriend liked him, especially considering the nights that they had spent together. The mere thought of the passion-filled nights made Alec's cheeks blush.

Where has my light gone? Where has my fight gone? What keeps us burning when the fire is long gone?  
When I can't relate to that voice without a face should I be afraid or is it just a voice I did create?

On the other hand, Magnus was so… out of his league. Here Alec was, with plain, slightly shaggy black hair; his all black wardrobe that consisted of four black sweaters and black pants and a pair of black sneakers; his blue eyes and pale complexion, and he hadn't killed any demons. Magnus was… well, Magnus. Fearless and colorful and beautiful and loving and… the list could go on forever. Alec was nothing, in his eyes, compared to Magnus.

Ah, give it up, Those dirty tricks No quick fix, can undo it Ah, give it up I won't resist My answers always this

Alec didn't know if he could stand to see Magnus the next day when he opened the portal without going over to him and punching him and kissing him at the same time, out of anger and love. He didn't know if he could stand knowing if the high warlock had gotten over him, or had not even thought of him while he sat there, on his bed, thinking of nothing but those perfect eyes that seemed to see right through the shadowhunter.

I said don't fight it, don't fight it, don't fight it If you don't know what it is, If you don't know what it is

**Magnus P.O.V**

Magnus didn't know weather or not he could stand to see Alec the next day. He was quite certain that if he looked into those beautiful blue eyes he would forget all of his worries about being hurt and he would drop down on his knees and beg Alec to forgive him for being an ass and for not returning his calls and for doubting him. No. He couldn't let that happen. But at the same time, he couldn't simply cancel on Maryse. It just couldn't be done without her being suspicious of why he was backing out. And he cared enough for Alec that he would let him tell his parents that he was gay on his own. So he would open the portal to Idris tomorrow for the shadowhunters.

Just don't fight it, Don't fight it, don't fight it If you don't know what it is, If you don't know what it is

**Peas and carrots R&R!**


End file.
